I AM–The Sound of Consciousness

Earlier today I noticed that someone read the following blog entry which I had posted on May 4, 2011. It brought back lots of memories: I was living at Lake Douglas in Dandridge, TN, spending hours meditating, reading, taking notes, and attempting to write a book explaining my theory of the All That Is. The book wasn’t written, but I did spend a lot of time sitting by the lake watching herons catching fish. That was thirteen years ago, and I’m still, in one way or another, working on the same project. Below is the entry as it was written:

Yesterday I had an interesting experience during my Jewel Tree Meditation. In the section “the spirit of enlightenment with wisdom, love and compassion” I came to the third level of wisdom which is meditation. There, using the technique called the Diamond Drill, I pursued the question “Who am I?” Normally I defer to Eckhart Tolle’s answer which is “I am the space or the field in which form appears” but sometimes I answer with Thou Art That or the ground of being or the All That Is.

Conclusion to the Previous Entry

I ended the previous entry this way: “After reading, rereading and editing the newly-added section above, I continued thinking about another part of the answer which will have to wait for another entry.”

I felt there was a missing part which focused on the question that Jacob Needleman asked in his book, Why Can’t We Be Good? The question being, Why should we be good? Why should we do unto others as we would have them do unto us?

What is the most important information I learned in my years of reading?

Thursday afternoon, during a physical therapy session for some aches and pains, the therapist asked what I did during the day. Being introverted, I responded with a short answer: “Read”. “Read what?” he asked. Slightly longer response: “Oh, about spirituality, religion, consciousness.” Probing further: “How long have you been reading about those subjects?” Answer: “Thirty-plus years.” Further: “What’s the most important information you learned?”

Lying on a table, consciously breathing in and out while doing exercises, wasn’t the best time to contemplate the most important information I had learned in thirty years of reading and taking notes. I rambled something about The Tibetan Book of the Dead and what a Hindu woman had told Morgan Freeman in a video titled The Story of God. In essence she said she viewed truth as the trunk of a tree and all the different religions as branches.

Driving home I wondered how I would have answered the question had I been asked when I wasn’t doing physical therapy and the purpose hadn’t been to distract me from the exercises.

Further Pondering of the Dream 2-19-2024

A few days after the dream of February 29, I woke up at 6 a.m. and lay in bed until 6:30 either thinking about or listening to an explanation of the dream. Jenny and Frank had encouraged me to look at it from a symbolic viewpoint, but I never studied Jungian interpretations of dreams. Frank had asked about the symbolism of the alligator, and Jenny did a quick internet search for me. So this inspired me, and the following is a second interpretation of the dream which is more personal.

Background: I have had what I consider two traumatic incidents in my life that deeply impacted my ego and the persona I present to others. One was a horrific hospitalization when I was five-years old, and the second was a divorce after twenty years of marriage when I was forty-two.

Shortly after the divorce I began a spiritual quest with lots of questions and began obsessively searching for answers: Who am I? Why am I here? Why does the universe exist? Who created it? When? How? What happens when I die? …to mention a few.

First Explanation of dream 2-19-2024

Recently I have been focused on the concept of the Life Force, Unconditional Love and Skillful Means. Then along came the dream of February 19 which confused me, so I’m still looking at its symbolism and meaning, but I have no idea what the broom, rushes and alligator represent.

For the first time in many years I feel on firmer ground with my view of…well…everything, although I’m not ready to write the book titled The World According to Charles. One piece of the puzzle that remains has to do with loving a Creator, but I’m always perplexed by what the Creator is. If it’s consciousness, Ain Sof, or the Wheel of Life which turns because of karma and ignorance, how is one supposed to love that? If form is emptiness and emptiness is form…or the All That It Is is everything and nothing, what is there to love?

So, in the dream the aunt, niece and nephew suddenly have faith in God when they receive a vision from Him somehow telling them everyone is safe and protected. In my mental world I see this as subject-object consciousness because an objective God is outside of them and His word reassures them that all is well.

Another interesting middle-of-the-night dream

February 19, 2024

It’s 2:19 a.m. and I just had another dream I have to remember. I awakened from the dream and needed to use the bathroom, but as I lay in bed I realized I was still watching the dream unfold. So, I stayed, watched, and listened as long as I could.

Somehow I knew the woman in the dream was an aunt, but not a very good one although I didn’t know those details, and she was on her way to visit her young niece and nephew. When she arrived at their house the children were outside on the sidewalk and there was a huge alligator approaching them. The aunt leaped out of the car, grabbed both of the children in her arms, somehow opened the door and put them inside. There was a broom on the porch which she picked up instantly. Then without fear she approached the alligator and swept it off the walk into the grass. It scurried away. Although she wasn’t religious, she immediately thanked the Lord.

Next she ran back into the house looking for the children but they weren’t there. Thinking they had gone out the back door, she ran through the house and out into the field. In the dream she used the word “rushes” which I understood to be tall weeds in which other alligators could be hiding. She was so scared as she ran frantically calling the children when, suddenly, she looked up at the house and could see them standing at the window watching her.

The Road I Know by Stewart Edward White

Once again I have returned to Stewart Edward White’s book The Road I Know in which he wrote about Betty White’s experience with the Invisibles and how they introduced her to the Life Force.

The Life Force, Betty was told, “is the vital principle that is the basis of all manifestations and energies that make up the universe. It is the underlying evolutionary power, force, life that makes things, and keeps them in being, in development, and in functioning. The highest expression of this force on earth indubitably is human consciousness.”

Further, “Consciousness is the one and only reality. We sense this highest of reality, but not broken into bits as is our own experience, but all-inclusive-and all knowing. Some people name it God: some people name it something else. That does not matter.”

Probably the most interesting dream I’ve ever had…

Early Friday morning I had a dream which I immediately typed in my journal. I have been pondering its meaning, so after the journal entry is my present understanding. If anyone has other insights, I would be interested in reading them.

“February 2, 2024 Friday 2:55 am

“Just returned from the bathroom and remembered the dream I was having…it’s a really strange one. I don’t know how it started or what was happening at first, but the part I do remember begins with me driving to my cremation. Suddenly I was inside a building with a man and a woman who informed me that she would be handling the cremation. There was some conversation, but I don’t recall what it was. Then, although I was standing there watching, I knew my body was inside the enclosure. There was a flash of light and a loud sound which meant my body was being burned. I recall stepping back several feet and possibly leaning against a wall. The man who was there asked if I was okay and I said yes.

“It was over quickly and the next part I remember was the woman handing me a container with my ashes in it. I thought they would be in a box, but it was a large mixing bowl without a top.

Morning Meditation 1, 10, 2024

This morning as I began my meditation I used the method described in my previous blog entry—that of dissolving the objective world by letting go of the patterned-ego, the self, and the Self as I focus on Subjective Consciousness without an object and imagine High Indifference.

Partway into today’s meditation it was as if someone changed the channel and provided a clarification—a necessary one. And it came via the soul levels of the Kabbalah. I should add here that, for me, High Indifference is akin to Mt Everest which can be reached by way of several paths but, primarily, by way of the Northeast and Southeast routes. So, High Indifference can be reached through Buddhism, Judaism, Hinduism, Islam or Christianity because their mystical or esoteric paths all arrive at the summit.

Morning Meditation 1, 9, 2024

Sometimes I wish I had a device that could record my meditations and provide a printout. Today in particular because my meditation actually began about 3 a.m. when I suddenly woke up and began thinking about Merrell-Wolff’s explanation of subject/object consciousness. I fell back to sleep, but the thought process began again when I sat for my official meditation. I’ll do my best to remember.

Everything begins with Consciousness or Light and here I must mix philosophies. I believe the Kabbalah explains it best: There is Ein Sof which is everything, and it sends its Light into Keter and then to the first sephirah which is Hokhmah or Wisdom. Ein Sof retains its Essence. So for my understanding, we do not know, and maybe never will know, what Essence is. I think of it as the unknowable Creator which means we only know its Creation made from Consciousness or Light.