Sometimes I wish I had a device that could record my meditations and provide a printout. Today in particular because my meditation actually began about 3 a.m. when I suddenly woke up and began thinking about Merrell-Wolff’s explanation of subject/object consciousness. I fell back to sleep, but the thought process began again when I sat for my official meditation. I’ll do my best to remember.
Everything begins with Consciousness or Light and here I must mix philosophies. I believe the Kabbalah explains it best: There is Ein Sof which is everything, and it sends its Light into Keter and then to the first sephirah which is Hokhmah or Wisdom. Ein Sof retains its Essence. So for my understanding, we do not know, and maybe never will know, what Essence is. I think of it as the unknowable Creator which means we only know its Creation made from Consciousness or Light.
Whether we study Buddhism or Quantum Energy, Consciousness or Light is “subject only” until it splits into subject and object, name and form, or observer and object. Here is where we homo sapiens enter the world with our five physical senses. It is only through these senses that we encounter an outside world which gives rise to sensation. We approach a rose bush to smell its flower and poke our finger on a thorn. That gives rise to cognition or thinking. I like the smell of the flower but I want to avoid the thorn.
Thinking: this was the essence of my meditation. Not only does consciousness split but so does our thought process. Thinking may lead us to experience a world with curiosity, wonder, excitement, creativity, compassion and other uplifting qualities. It may also lead to what Buddhism refers to as Formation which is another way of indicating the start of karma, the self, ego, automaton or robot which takes over the thought process.
So where does this lead? For over thirty years I searched for answers regarding the who, what, when, where and why of existence. And, at last, I found answers that satisfied me. They may be naïve or not sufficient for others, but they fulfilled my quest. So my goal, for what time I remain on this earth, is to experience Consciousness without an object which is the essence of Franklin Merrell-Wolff’s book Pathways through to Space.
In this morning’s meditation I attempted to reverse the process I listed above. First was to let go of all my formations which are many. If I had a pattern-recognition machine it would printout my patterns and indicate that I follow them 99% of the time. My days are predictable.
Next I have to let go of rational thinking which is predicated on “I like this” and “I don’t like that”. Then I have to let go of sensations which means letting go of the five senses which means letting go of objective forms.
As the objective world dissolves I have to let go of the “I” of the self and allow my identity to be replaced with the Self. Further, I let go of the Self and return to Subjective Consciousness or Light. Here there is I AM and WE ARE. Oneness. All potential. No time or space.
Alas, I do this mentally but still remain very much in subject/object consciousness. To go to the level of Merrell-Wolff’s High Indifference one must be invited by Grace. Sincerity counts but only a few are permitted to enter those lofty realms.
Tags: Buddhism, Consciousness, Meditation, mindfulness, spirituality
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