How Yesterday’s Conversation Led to This Entry

Yesterday I had an interesting conversation with Frank DeMarco, as we usually do on Saturday mornings. I cannot recall how we began talking about the difference between thinking and absorbing, but the concept stayed with me and led to writing this morning.

First we talked about my blog entry titled The Project: Part One which Frank accurately perceived didn’t have much energy in it. It seemed more like an “I have to do this” entry and it was true. I had written it days ago, rewrote it many times (as I usually do) and, when I was about to post it, I deleted half of it and then clicked post. I had missed explaining why this project has taken hold of my life.

What is the essence of the project? Beginning about thirty-five years ago I realized this obsession with wanting to know how we got here, why we are here, and what happens when we die. Thus began my search which led to compulsive reading and taking notes. And, believe it or not, at least for me, I feel as if I found answers that satisfy two of the questions. Reluctantly I admit that I don’t think it’s possible to know exactly how we got here.

Conclusion to the Previous Entry

I ended the previous entry this way: “After reading, rereading and editing the newly-added section above, I continued thinking about another part of the answer which will have to wait for another entry.”

I felt there was a missing part which focused on the question that Jacob Needleman asked in his book, Why Can’t We Be Good? The question being, Why should we be good? Why should we do unto others as we would have them do unto us?

Further Pondering of the Dream 2-19-2024

A few days after the dream of February 29, I woke up at 6 a.m. and lay in bed until 6:30 either thinking about or listening to an explanation of the dream. Jenny and Frank had encouraged me to look at it from a symbolic viewpoint, but I never studied Jungian interpretations of dreams. Frank had asked about the symbolism of the alligator, and Jenny did a quick internet search for me. So this inspired me, and the following is a second interpretation of the dream which is more personal.

Background: I have had what I consider two traumatic incidents in my life that deeply impacted my ego and the persona I present to others. One was a horrific hospitalization when I was five-years old, and the second was a divorce after twenty years of marriage when I was forty-two.

Shortly after the divorce I began a spiritual quest with lots of questions and began obsessively searching for answers: Who am I? Why am I here? Why does the universe exist? Who created it? When? How? What happens when I die? …to mention a few.

Some thoughts about the personal mind or ego: Michael Singer, Krishnamurti, The Wheel of Life and Ken Wilber

Thanks to Jenny, I listened to and watched Michael Singer’s presentation titled Stepping Back from the Personal Mind. https://youtu.be/G69MajgBm0E?si=X13EtIQsv605kB9i.

The personal mind, Singer said, is essentially the cause of all the problems in the world because it’s preoccupied with “I, Me and Mine”. And with eight billion people in the world, most thinking only about themselves, it leads to a lot of conflict and greed.

The personal mind is what defines us because it is formed entirely by the experiences that have happened in our lives. Once programmed, the personal mind is always searching for what we like and avoiding what we don’t like. But, Singer adds, before any experience that has or will happen to us, we are who we really are—the mind behind the personal mind.